Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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