Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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