I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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