so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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