lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
