how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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