girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
