HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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