someone get that fucking seahorse.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
