Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
