I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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