We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
