Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
