it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
