The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
