I will die if light touches me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
