Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
