Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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