Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize