so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
