its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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