So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
