think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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