What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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