weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
