Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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