I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
id be glad to
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
