At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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