i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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