if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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