You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
