I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
