Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
