when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
