At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
