ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
