How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize