I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
