And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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