ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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