i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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