the condom got lost in my hair
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
