gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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