You really coming over, don't trick.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I enjoy the company of your penis
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
