that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
