your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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