Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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