Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
