He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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