just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
