as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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