Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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