dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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