I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
