just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
