How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
