I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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