i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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